Daivik Decides to Drop Pretense and Kicks Man in Face
Originally appeared in The Scholars’ Avenue Farewell Edition 2017. Parody.
Daivik finally decided to drop his pretense of being the nice guy and kicked a man across his face. The scene unfolded at a social event at the campus of IIT Kharagpur. Sources suggest the outburst was triggered by an alpha talking over Daivik’s narration of his adventures whale-hunting in the Bay of Bengal. When interrupted by the alpha, he took a deep breath first, but soon got up, said “fuck it” and delivered a jump back kick.
Not much is known about the identity of the victim. He’s currently admitted on the first floor of BC Roy hospital, while Daivik climbed at least couple of rungs of the social ladder himself. He perches quite high now, well above the envious spot he previously held thanks to his epic record as an academic, journalist, debater amongst other things. We asked him whether recent changes would account to a drop in his extraordinary CG during his final semester. He said that quite the opposite would happen because he wouldn’t be holding back on his scholastic prowess anymore to keep a low profile. On pressed for further comment, he said, “Buckle Up, IBM sissies”.
The event has invoked enthusiastic investigations into Daivik’s past. While he shares little on Facebook, some have traced down his Reddit account(s). The stories he had hitherto shared anonymously — traveling atop a Kolkata-Kharagpur local train, diffusing a North Korean missile, punching an iguana in the face, etc. — are now common knowledge. When we tried to verify from the man if he actually rejected Emma Stone, he indifferently said, “Oh the one from the new jazz movie?”
Our investigation department has found this wasn’t the first time Daivik took a swing at a man. At another social night in Kolkata, under the influence of spirits and Varun Tripathi, Azad Hall of Residence, Daivik punched a KGPian for no apparent reason. But unlike that time, other attendees at the recent party swear that there were no enablers apart from Daivik’s stretched patience and inherent, but previously concealed, badassery. But we have reasons to believe otherwise. From the few images he’s shared on Facebook, we figure he might be into potent narcotics. When contacted again for comment about alleged drug use, Daivik replied, “bitch, don’t kill my vibe.” It was later figured that it was a song title from Davik’s best-selling rap album. Yes, Daivik is also Kendrick Lamar.
